marți, 18 iulie 2017

Forever and...?

Hello. It's been a while, huh?

I believe you've been longing to read something written by yours truly. I couldn't just write my feelings away. I just couldn't do it. It's been hard and all this time you must've thought that I've forgotten about you. I haven't. Impossible. How could I forget the one person who makes me laugh and love unconditionally? You might know what's on my mind. The sheer feeling of losing something important. I am scared of leaving, yet I know it's the best thing to do and then I get scared again and that nauseating pain in my stomach comes again with the fear.
I love you so much, though. So much that it hurts when I know there are people better than me, more suitable for you. I know you're shaking your head as you read this, but I must let you know, dear, I don't deserve you. I've been continuously bragging and mumbling about pains, love, lectures, friendships, love again and again and yet again. I am not the one to easily forget anything, so bare with me for a while, for I have some things to say.

I am crazy, but I love you. I do stupid things, like texting a certain someone which stole a piece of me long ago. I am jealous, but I love you still. I go insane for a while.. but I love you.

I'm holding on for dear life to the feeling that you believe me. I need you to believe (in) me. YOU are one of the best gifts God has blessed me with. The light of your soul shines through the mask which is the loveliest smile in the world, that of an angel that keeps me sane. We are sometimes lost, fools, let's face it, no one's perfect but the Lord, but together we are stronger everyday. Listen to me: it's going to be hard and we're gonna fight something terrible, but every single time we do so, come back to this message and know that no matter what, I will always say "FOREVER". I am your Forever and you are my Always. There is no one like you. I will write again the message you so dearly appreciated:

"Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!! PHAAA ( laugh now )

I'm writing my heart out yet again. Although you've been more active with the girls (leaving comments on their pics), I know you've felt unloved for a while... I did too. I haven't been myself lately, especially today... well, I've learnt to hate today for obvious reasons.

We both do things that hurt and we're both stubborn, but I LOVE YOU!
I love you when you're acting silly.
I love you when you're sad.
I love you when you're smiling.
I even love you when you're an annoying B.
I love you when we're on the phone and none of us is talking.
I love you despite the bruises.
I love you because you're the ray of sunshine that I need everyday.
I love you when we're finishing each others' sentences.
I love how your eyes shine when you look at me.
I love to annoy you and you make funny gestures and noises like you'd love to strangle me. -my favourite.
I love it when you're jealous.
I love your voice.
I love every print screen which you so very much despise.
I love everything about you and I know you love me too."

There it was.

You are so important to me.. You make me a better person, or at least you're trying to. I've told you before: I am broken. So much stress, so much fear of losing myself among things that compose the symphony of life. I'm a Blanche DuBois of our times, no joke. I need guidance and patience. Please, understand that sacrifices need be made, never though it'd be easy. I can only ask you not to deprive me of your love. Don't let me let you go, ever.
Remember, when you're sad, I am here, in my writings and Forever in your haven, Always.

sâmbătă, 7 ianuarie 2017

To my best friend.

Dear G.,

Happy Birthday!!!
I've thought long about this message before I started writing. I have also deleted some words and added others. Wow, 22, huh? And you say it is not such a big deal.. Well, it is for me 'cause I'm not going to let you forget this moment. Nor others as a matter of fact. You've showed me that the door to happiness was still open when I only saw bars and darkness and now it's my turn to take you with me through that door.

I never thanked God so much... you know, for bringing a special human like you into my life. We all have our flaws, normally, but I feel -most of the time- that I don't deserve you. G., I THANK YOU for everything you do for me, but for your patience I have the utmost gratitude. You deserve the world, yeah you do; I have never seen the depth of your little big soul, which amazes me. Well, I can't offer you the world -literally-, but what I can do is share my life, adventures and love with you. I have so much to give and I am glad to have met a person like you to give it to.

One might say you are goals. Never underestimate yourself. I could say a million things about you, but words are futile compared to what I really feel and think. Here are some words that might do you justice:

A- Amazing
B- Baby
C- Caring
D- Determined
E- Elegant
F- Fancy
G- Good
H- Honest
I- Important
J- Jealous (haha)
K- Kind
L- Loyal
M- Mine 'cause I'm jealous too <3
N- Neat
O- Outgoing
P- Pretty
Q- Quick-minded
R- (Un)Reasonable =))
S- Spoiled :)
T- Trustworthy
U- Unique
V- Vibrant
X- The x to my factor of friendship XOXO
Y- Young
Z- Sorry, could not think of a word with Z :(

You already know -hopefully- how important you are to me. Even though you make me feel uneasy sometimes and jealous and mad and angry and unwanted and everything else...DAMN, I LOVE YOU. I DO. I feel like I know you so much.

1.Thank you for the messages.
2.Thank you for the patience.
3.Thank you for being you.
4.Thank you for the memories.
5.Thank you for the smiles.
6.Thank you for making me see the world through a baby's eyes.
7.Thank you for the laughs.
8.Thank you for being loyal.
9.Thank you for the support.
10.Thank you for the compliments.
11.Thank you for caring.
12.Thank you believing in me.
13.Thank you for our walks at night.
14.Thank you for the snapchat videos.
15.Thank you for the reality checks.
16.Thank you for the tears.
17.Thank you for sharing my love for KFC.
18.Thank you for sharing my interest in hot guys.
19.Thank for your baby voice.
20.Thank you for the songs.
21.Thank you for giving me strength.
22.Thank you for loving me!!! <3

22 things I'm thankful for, for your 22 years of life.

HAPPY B'DAY, my little Hamster. Enjoy life, breathe, sing, laugh, crawl if you must. Oh, and never leave my side.

Forever your bff,
A. ^_^