marți, 18 iulie 2017

Forever and...?

Hello. It's been a while, huh?

I believe you've been longing to read something written by yours truly. I couldn't just write my feelings away. I just couldn't do it. It's been hard and all this time you must've thought that I've forgotten about you. I haven't. Impossible. How could I forget the one person who makes me laugh and love unconditionally? You might know what's on my mind. The sheer feeling of losing something important. I am scared of leaving, yet I know it's the best thing to do and then I get scared again and that nauseating pain in my stomach comes again with the fear.
I love you so much, though. So much that it hurts when I know there are people better than me, more suitable for you. I know you're shaking your head as you read this, but I must let you know, dear, I don't deserve you. I've been continuously bragging and mumbling about pains, love, lectures, friendships, love again and again and yet again. I am not the one to easily forget anything, so bare with me for a while, for I have some things to say.

I am crazy, but I love you. I do stupid things, like texting a certain someone which stole a piece of me long ago. I am jealous, but I love you still. I go insane for a while.. but I love you.

I'm holding on for dear life to the feeling that you believe me. I need you to believe (in) me. YOU are one of the best gifts God has blessed me with. The light of your soul shines through the mask which is the loveliest smile in the world, that of an angel that keeps me sane. We are sometimes lost, fools, let's face it, no one's perfect but the Lord, but together we are stronger everyday. Listen to me: it's going to be hard and we're gonna fight something terrible, but every single time we do so, come back to this message and know that no matter what, I will always say "FOREVER". I am your Forever and you are my Always. There is no one like you. I will write again the message you so dearly appreciated:

"Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!! PHAAA ( laugh now )

I'm writing my heart out yet again. Although you've been more active with the girls (leaving comments on their pics), I know you've felt unloved for a while... I did too. I haven't been myself lately, especially today... well, I've learnt to hate today for obvious reasons.

We both do things that hurt and we're both stubborn, but I LOVE YOU!
I love you when you're acting silly.
I love you when you're sad.
I love you when you're smiling.
I even love you when you're an annoying B.
I love you when we're on the phone and none of us is talking.
I love you despite the bruises.
I love you because you're the ray of sunshine that I need everyday.
I love you when we're finishing each others' sentences.
I love how your eyes shine when you look at me.
I love to annoy you and you make funny gestures and noises like you'd love to strangle me. -my favourite.
I love it when you're jealous.
I love your voice.
I love every print screen which you so very much despise.
I love everything about you and I know you love me too."

There it was.

You are so important to me.. You make me a better person, or at least you're trying to. I've told you before: I am broken. So much stress, so much fear of losing myself among things that compose the symphony of life. I'm a Blanche DuBois of our times, no joke. I need guidance and patience. Please, understand that sacrifices need be made, never though it'd be easy. I can only ask you not to deprive me of your love. Don't let me let you go, ever.
Remember, when you're sad, I am here, in my writings and Forever in your haven, Always.

sâmbătă, 7 ianuarie 2017

To my best friend.

Dear G.,

Happy Birthday!!!
I've thought long about this message before I started writing. I have also deleted some words and added others. Wow, 22, huh? And you say it is not such a big deal.. Well, it is for me 'cause I'm not going to let you forget this moment. Nor others as a matter of fact. You've showed me that the door to happiness was still open when I only saw bars and darkness and now it's my turn to take you with me through that door.

I never thanked God so much... you know, for bringing a special human like you into my life. We all have our flaws, normally, but I feel -most of the time- that I don't deserve you. G., I THANK YOU for everything you do for me, but for your patience I have the utmost gratitude. You deserve the world, yeah you do; I have never seen the depth of your little big soul, which amazes me. Well, I can't offer you the world -literally-, but what I can do is share my life, adventures and love with you. I have so much to give and I am glad to have met a person like you to give it to.

One might say you are goals. Never underestimate yourself. I could say a million things about you, but words are futile compared to what I really feel and think. Here are some words that might do you justice:

A- Amazing
B- Baby
C- Caring
D- Determined
E- Elegant
F- Fancy
G- Good
H- Honest
I- Important
J- Jealous (haha)
K- Kind
L- Loyal
M- Mine 'cause I'm jealous too <3
N- Neat
O- Outgoing
P- Pretty
Q- Quick-minded
R- (Un)Reasonable =))
S- Spoiled :)
T- Trustworthy
U- Unique
V- Vibrant
X- The x to my factor of friendship XOXO
Y- Young
Z- Sorry, could not think of a word with Z :(

You already know -hopefully- how important you are to me. Even though you make me feel uneasy sometimes and jealous and mad and angry and unwanted and everything else...DAMN, I LOVE YOU. I DO. I feel like I know you so much.

1.Thank you for the messages.
2.Thank you for the patience.
3.Thank you for being you.
4.Thank you for the memories.
5.Thank you for the smiles.
6.Thank you for making me see the world through a baby's eyes.
7.Thank you for the laughs.
8.Thank you for being loyal.
9.Thank you for the support.
10.Thank you for the compliments.
11.Thank you for caring.
12.Thank you believing in me.
13.Thank you for our walks at night.
14.Thank you for the snapchat videos.
15.Thank you for the reality checks.
16.Thank you for the tears.
17.Thank you for sharing my love for KFC.
18.Thank you for sharing my interest in hot guys.
19.Thank for your baby voice.
20.Thank you for the songs.
21.Thank you for giving me strength.
22.Thank you for loving me!!! <3

22 things I'm thankful for, for your 22 years of life.

HAPPY B'DAY, my little Hamster. Enjoy life, breathe, sing, laugh, crawl if you must. Oh, and never leave my side.

Forever your bff,
A. ^_^


sâmbătă, 12 decembrie 2015

Un zambet pentru o zi

"Why didn't you tell me there was danger? Why didn't you warn me? Ladies know what to guard against, because they read novels that tell them of these tricks; but I never had the chance of discovering in that way; and you did not help me!"

-Unde te grabesti? m-a intrebat.
-Nicaieri, asa merg eu pe strada. *Ciudato, comporta-te normal*


-Ce par frumos ai. E asa moale! Sa ai grija de el, mi-a spus cu mana dreapta plimbandu-i-se prin parul meu.
-Multumesc, la fel! *Zambesti ca o idioata si el stie asta*

-Ai niste ochi superbi!
-De ce te uiti asa insistent la mine fara sa spui nimic? Ma faci sa rad. (Ii spun, timida.)
El imi ofera un zambet care imi topeste inima si imi raspunde cu o voce calma, dar pe un ton serios:
-Te admir.
Eu ma blochez. Nu mi se intampla des,dar cand sunt cu el...uit de tot.

Ma ia de mana si ii simt caldura. *Iarta-ma ca sunt rece.* Ma cuprinde cu bratele si ma tine strans 30 de secunde, care pentru mine par 30 de ore. Inspir adanc. Ma uit in ochii lui si ii patrund in suflet - e un om minunat..

Ma trezesc.

In memoriam

”STRONG Son of God, immortal Love,
Whom we, that have not seen thy face,
By faith, and faith alone, embrace,
Believing where we cannot prove;

That God, which ever lives and loves,
One God, one law, one element,
And one far-off divine event,
To which the whole creation moves.”
                                  - Lord Alfred Tennyson, In Memoriam


Uneori ma intreb de ce ni se intampla lucruri rele.

Da! Viata te tranteste cand te astepti mai putin si am acceptat asta. Am acceptat ca exista un final pentru toate. Dar nu pot sa accept cand Finalul (Moartea) triseaza cu nerusinare ca la jocurile de carti si ii ia pe cei care se ridica mai greu dupa lovitura vietii.

Scriu aceasta postare in memoria unui om special. Si nu spun ”special” pentru ca era vedeta sau cineva cu vreun atu. Era si este in sufletele noastre un om talentat, frumos (in toate privintele), iubit si mult prea tanar pentru povara ce i-a fost sortita. Ca acest om sunt multi, din pacate. ”De ce, Doamne? De ce? De ce oamenii rai nu sunt la inceputul listei Tale?” O intrebare la care nu aveam dreptul de a afla raspunsul, in aceasta viata cel putin.

Ne facem planuri pentru viitor si ne gandim la bani, cu ce sa ne imbracam la petrecerea X, daca Y merita sa fie criticat, etc, sa fim seriosi. DAR, rareori deschidem ochii larg si ne uitam la ce am realizat pana in acel moment, la oamenii din jur si, in special, nu prea traim in prezent, sa ne bucuram de el. Finalul (fir-ar al naibii el!) poate veni in orice moment, nu conteaza varsta, sexul, categoria sociala..

Omule drag, fie-ti sufletul asezat in loc luminos cu multi ingeri in jur.. Rest in peace, you shall never be forgotten!

vineri, 1 august 2014

Draga prietene,

You said it in a simple way,
4 AM, the second day,
How strange that I don't know you at all.
Stumbled through the long goodbye,
One last kiss, then catch your flight,
Right when I was just about to fall
I told myself don't get attached,
But in my mind I play it back,
Spinning faster than the plane that took you...

And this is when the feeling sinks in,
I don't wanna miss you like this,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.
I guess you're in New York today,
I don't wanna need you this way,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.

The delicate beginning rush,
The feeling you can know so much,
Without knowing anything at all.
And now that I can put this down,
If I had known what I'd known now,
I never would have played so nonchalance.
Taxi cabs and busy streets,
That never bring you back to me,
I can't help but wish you took me with you...

And this is when the feeling sinks in,
I don't wanna miss you like this,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.
I guess you're in London today,
I don't wanna need you this way,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.

This is falling in love in the cruelest way,
This is falling for you and you are worlds away.
New York... be here.
But you're in London and I break down,
'Cause it's not fair that you're not around.

This is when the feeling sinks in,
I don't wanna miss you like this,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.
I guess you're in New York today,
And I don't wanna need you this way,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.
I don't wanna miss you like this.
Come back... be here.
Come back... be here.


Oh, cat de bine canta Taylor...Nu doresc sa o laud prea tare, dar acest cantec este de milioane, dupa parerea mea.

Imi lipsesti. Mereu imi promiteai ca va fi la fel, dar eu taceam, nu ziceam nimic; stiam mai bine. Nu ma mai suni, esti prea ocupat. Uneori am impresia ca m-ai uitat de tot. Te cunosc prea bine si stiu ca orgoliul nu te lasa sa faci primul pas, oarecum. Imi lipsesc discutiile noastre stupide si copilaresti de la 7 dimineata. Felul in care vorbeam despre ceilalti si cum radeam cand se dadeau drept cine nu erau. Imi lipsesc vorbele tale si..tu. Poate ai impresia ca nu prea ”ii inghit” pe ceilalti prieteni ai tai, si da, poate ai dreptate, insa niciodata nu te-am pus sa alegi.Iti vreau binele, de aceea nici nu voi face asta vreodata. Esti atat de incapatanat incat nici nu vezi realitatea uneori...Ceea ce e cam grav.

Decizia a fost a mea de la inceput, desi am crezut ca va fi altfel. Mi-ai promis ca vom ramane frati..I'll have you know, brothers fight all the time but this..This is me letting go. Letting YOU go.

I just want some peace of mind. You don't really see how much I care(D) about you and BAM! You lost, brother. Your ignorance made you lose.
I am not going to accept your childish behaviour despite my feelings for you. I am sure I won't be missed much.

With all my love, i wish you all the best. Should you ever miss me, you know how to reach me.